+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: Russian Code Names

This one speaks for itself.

Excerpt: “I’m completely single. I’m very intelligent. I’m great in bed.”

+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: SportsCenter Anchor Doing His Best Swingers Impression

ESPN anchor Scott Van Pelt (blue shirt) left this message for a lovely lady he met (and hit on) at bar called Bottle & Cork in Dewey Beach, Delaware.

Excerpt: “Enjoyed meeting you…I knew as soon as you left I’d never see you again…”

+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: Cabin Fever

After a big snow storm, a 17 year-old high school student called the chief operating officer of his school system in Virginia to ask why he hadn’t declared a snow day. The student included his name and phone number and later got this message from the COO’s wife.

+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: Celebrity Candidate Endorsement

In honor of Super Tuesday, we present to you an Oscar-winning faux voicemail.

(No word on whether this particular celebrity is endorsing this particular candidate so he can hang out at rallies with fellow celebrity endorsers Amber Tamblyn and America Fererra.)

+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: Reaction to Perceived Slight

Scene: A woman goes to a bar to scout a band she is considering hiring to play at her son’s graduation party.

Andrea Allen describes what happened:

My boyfriend, Carl (a member of the band), “pretended like he didn’t know” this woman when he told her to hang on for one minute while he got me a drink at the bar. She left this voicemail and continued to scream about how much Carl’s band sucked the rest of the night before getting kicked out. Apparently she kept mouthing off about the band in the parking lot, so some other drunk people (fans) threatened to beat her to death.

+

Studies have shown most awkward voicemail happens on the weekend, so be on the lookout for any Awkward Voicemail-worthy messages that might show up in your inbox in the next few days and send them our way.

a w k w a r d v o i c e m a i l [ a t ] g m a i l . c o m

+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: Late Night in New York City

Today’s awkward voicemail is brought to you by BetaMale.com

+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Category: Missed Connection - 5’8, Blonde, Kinda Slutty

We’re going to go out on a limb and guess she wasn’t as successful as Patrick Moberg in reconnecting.

+
“ hahah this is awesome! if i find any good messages ill send them your way.
Jen Dunlap
+

comments on today's voicemail (below)

  • farfaraway: It’s been a pretty rough day, but this made it so much better.
  • andreallen: I started unintentionally imitating the guy’s laugh.
  • joshmerrill: If this is real, it’s got to be the greatest voicemail ever!
  • laura!: I find this incredibly funny because it sounds like something one of the guys I worked with over the summer would do. Ange also almost fell off of her chair while I was listening to this.